We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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