Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
