He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
