I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
