I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
