think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
