If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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