Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
