oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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