I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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