I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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