He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
