Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
