dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
