I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
