I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
