Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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