There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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