sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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