After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize