i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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