You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I still have a little drunk in my system
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
