Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
50% drunk capacity currently
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
