We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
