Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
