whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize