I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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