She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
