I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
