Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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