Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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