Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
