just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
