apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
birth control should be required to get into college
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
