I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
