I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
