He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I want her autograph on my taint
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize