He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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