I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
