I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
