And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
