I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
