It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
