I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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