my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
