3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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