Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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