He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
