Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
