I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
