You really coming over, don't trick.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Please don't give away my fajitas
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
