We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize