so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I love you. Go after that dick
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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