Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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