dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
