Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
