Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
