Having a random hookup so left but love u
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
