I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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